This is my profile on Scruff:
√ It’s touching that so many guys on here pay tribute to Muslim women who can’t show their faces.
√ If your message has below 4 characters, I assume it’s your cat typing. (Those kittens just don’t stop!)
√ If I don’t see a human face, I assume it’s a computer glitch. (A glitch asks to see more pictures, wants to be my friend, and then gets pissed at me for not responding to a glitch!)
√ If you are 18, sending me dick pictures, I assume it’s a police sting operation to catch pedophiles.
√ If you were born after Madonna’s “Like A Virgin,” please send me pictures of your father instead, preferably with a jockstrap, on all 4s, getting spanked. Sorry, greedy me. I’ll settle for shirtless, with a dog collar. Thank you.
√ If you don’t show your age, I assume you are as old as my grandpa. (Geez! You look so good for grandpa’s age!) If you do show your age, adding 5 would be your real age, of course. (Just kidding! ….Or am I?)
√ Straight-acting? Why would you act like you want to eat pussy? What? Oh, you mean acting like a straight girl? OK, that all makes sense now. So straight-acting is like a drag queen without the make-up, the costume and the wig! You go, girl!
√ Ah, the great outdoors! It gives me allergy. Every time I go to a park or out to the nature, I get itches all over my body. I much prefer staying home and watching the Discovery Channel.
√ I don’t PnP. I don’t do drugs. I don’t drink alcohol. I don’t smoke pot or cigarettes. I don’t do poppers. I don’t even drink coffee, Coke, or tea. OMG! I’m so boring!
√ Looking for the man who would make me want to delete this app off my phone because I can’t find the delete button by myself!
√ To those hot sexy guys all over the world, if only you were closer, so you can reject me face-to-face.
√ I don’t take dick/ass pictures of myself. Those are for in-person only, in technicolor, high-definition, and 3D (no funny glasses required). Reach out and touch!
√ Thanks for so many Woofs and compliments. I say this only to create an illusion of being much more popular than I actually am.
√ I don’t have issues. I have subscriptions!
√ I am unique, just like everybody else.
