You can’t show your face on your online profile because….
- Your father is on this site/app as well.
- You work for CIA, FBI, or KGB.
- You are a memeber of KKK.
- You are Tom Cruise.
- You are a Muslim woman.
Category: online profiles
I call this an anti-profile:
If you are partnered/married, please don’t contact me because I need to marry you right after your first message. If you become single again, please still don’t contact me because the only reason you are so attractive is that you are unavailable, you silly! If you make yourself so available, what’s the drama for me to pine over you? (Jokes aside, everyone is welcome to contact me, including grandmas who make fake profiles of young muscle boys. Hello, granny, I told you to stop it!)
If I woof you, consider it a marriage proposal. I advise you to get a restraining order against me immediately! Otherwise, get ready to see my face at your window.
common online profile phrase: VGL
Video Game Loser? Virgin Gone Loco? Virginal Green Leprechaun? Vampire Granny Lesbian?
common online profile phrase: looking for same, UB2
Just date a mirror.
common online profile phrase: no flakes
Yeah right! Like someone is going to read that and think, “Oh yes, I am a flake. I shouldn’t bother him.”
Flakes are not aware that they are flakes.
common online profile phrase: not into Asians
Who with a right mind would ever say no to Bruce Lee? Really! I don’t believe that. Even a straight guy would say yes.
You say, “But Bruce Lee was an exception.” Exactly! There are always exceptions to any rule.
If Madonna wants to have sex with you, I don’t care how gay you are, you would have to say yes, right? How could you not?
common online profile phrase: [such and such] to the front of the line
You have a line? Really? You are THAT popular?
Well, if you really are THAT popular, please do let us know, so we know what we are dealing with while we wait in your line.
I don’t have a line. I barely have a few dots.
