I saw this online profile. I copied and saved it, but I forgot where I saw it. If anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know. I would be happy to give him credit.

I should have masturbated hours ago.

Purple people (as well as purple people eaters and purple cows) need not apply. I’m not a purplist – it’s just a preference.

If you send me a wink, I will go into a psychotic frenzy. Please submit an 8 stanza love sonnet, dedicated to me, for consideration.

I do not have a cold (tested 3/08). You shouldn’t either. Snifflers stay away!

I’m only into guys who are HOT. If you don’t know what I mean by “hot”, it’s probably not a match. Mind readers preferred!

If you have baggage, it better be Louis Vuitton.

You unlock first. No, you unlock first. No, you.

If you don’t have pics, you should really be on a phone chat line, not the Internet.

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